tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3758290293592361372024-03-06T03:30:47.724+00:00steaming pileswisdom and wit, the like of which the world has never seen, or at least something that rhymes with itTomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03666655678202852882noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375829029359236137.post-62465707906155989782008-10-22T17:09:00.002+00:002008-10-22T17:14:21.042+00:00I despair... not just a title. I really do.<br /><br />** sigh **<br /><br />I have lived in the wrong era. I suffer (hah!) from Asperger's syndrome, which (partly - in my case) means that I am more guided by logic and reason than emotion.<br /><br />In my early life, I made the mistake of assuming that all people were also driven by logic and reason. It took me until the age of 45 or so to realise (I'm a slow learner) that it is not so.<br /><br />At times I am profoundly depressed by this. Sometimes it feels that intelliegence is a curse. I just want to spend a year away from other people. (except my lovely children of course). Just a year would do.<br /><br />That's all.Tomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03666655678202852882noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375829029359236137.post-35124438239652453902008-07-11T19:42:00.003+00:002008-12-09T23:56:14.724+00:00Max Mosley<br><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFA-7p3wlQEY438qfBIqQIxvlGGifAqKokXOeOAkaVHT1rgApp2C4YNCpSyB_DQuH7EbFC0KyqvexNAu5vLxR3MWzaTLzfv8PHf5rSDtR1A8v4xHj6E5FyGFTkFUOzKGR71rPJeXMCt9kG/s1600-h/evilclown7bc8.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFA-7p3wlQEY438qfBIqQIxvlGGifAqKokXOeOAkaVHT1rgApp2C4YNCpSyB_DQuH7EbFC0KyqvexNAu5vLxR3MWzaTLzfv8PHf5rSDtR1A8v4xHj6E5FyGFTkFUOzKGR71rPJeXMCt9kG/s320/evilclown7bc8.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5221844682657176290" /></a><br />So Max Mosley is sueing the News of the Screws over their admitted filming of his S&M antics. I'm really split on this one. One part of me thinks that it is dangerous to limit the freedom of the press in any way, another part thinks that the paper had no justification whatsoever in prying into someone's private life. When all is said and done, the blame for this sort of thing lies with the sad bastards who buy the rotten paper. To those people I would ask them to get off their overweight backsides, fire up their imaginations, and go get a sex life of their own, so that they don't have to voy all over other people's sex lives every sunday. As for the paper editor claiming it was all in the public interest... words fail me (not good for a blogger).<br /><br />Besides, which one of us has not stood naked in a room while an 80 year old man dressed in an evil clown costume pelts us with rotten fruit? I know I certainly have!<br /><br />(Actually, that last bit isn't quite true. I toned it down in case my kids think I'm a weirdo or something)Tomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03666655678202852882noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375829029359236137.post-82666847875085355852008-07-06T21:21:00.004+00:002008-07-11T19:57:50.706+00:00Eat my friends - Om nom nom<br><a href="http://www.oneplusyou.com/bb/view2/eat_buddies" style="display: block; background: #333 url('http://www.oneplusyou.com/bb/img/eat_buddies/badge.jpg') no-repeat; width: 320px; height: 90px; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 35px; color: #fff; text-decoration: none; text-align: center; padding-top: 110px; ">43%</a><div><a href="http://www.oneplusyou.com/q">OnePlusYou Quizzes and Widgets</a></div>Tomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03666655678202852882noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375829029359236137.post-34442072051060884742008-05-20T17:53:00.002+00:002008-05-20T18:02:28.478+00:00Big brother and all that stuff<BR><br />It's all over the news. The government want to build a database of all phone calls, email messages and text messages. They want to be able to spy on all of our communications. That's not the interesting bit though.<br /><br />What interests me more is the argument put forward by MPs and pundits who are anti the proposal. The one argument they use is that because of the recent security breaches, the government is not fit to hold this information.<br /><br />Well WOH! Wait a minute. Their argument isn't that spying on us would be inherently wrong, it's just that HM-Gov are too incompetent to do it. This frames the debate nicely. Get enough people to use this argument, and that gives the government a way in. All they have to do is prove that security has been tightened (and they are working on that like crazy) and then they can have their database.<br /><br />I say be careful of using security competence as an argument. This should be opposed because nobody wants it, apart from the inevitable stupid "if you've done nothing wrong..." brigade.Tomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03666655678202852882noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375829029359236137.post-26064338995192869842008-05-07T16:58:00.002+00:002008-05-07T17:07:13.882+00:00Aw Bollocks!!!!Have you ever had a laptop with a touchpad?<br /><br />If you have, you will know that it is possible to accidentally brush a thumb against it while typing. Now you would think that this would result in some pretty harmless results, like the floating cursor being moved a bit to the left or something. In the Murphy's Law universe, one of two things usually happens:<br /><br />1. You find yourself typing on the wrong line. This happens in about 60% of cases. It's no biggie - you simply copy and paste the text to where it should be.<br /><br />2. The accidental brush translates to: a. anchor the cursor, b. select all of the text of the huge message you have been typing, except for the first 3 words, c. press delete.<br /><br />Have you noticed that? A single brush of the thumb and the whole bloody message is gone (apart from the obligatory 3 remaining words). If they can make a simple thumb gesture so meaningful, could they please design an operating system that does all of my work when I sneeze, pick my nose and cross my legs. Thank you.<br /><br />p.s. you have no idea how careful I have been while typing this.Tomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03666655678202852882noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375829029359236137.post-79085337153442694022008-04-15T16:35:00.000+00:002008-04-15T16:36:00.984+00:00Expelled ExposedSeen the silly movie <a href="http://expelledexposed.com/"><i>Expelled</i></a>? Go read the <a href="http://expelledexposed.com/">debunking</a> first.Tomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03666655678202852882noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375829029359236137.post-91505690514374448542008-04-02T08:39:00.003+00:002008-04-02T08:46:19.440+00:00Nobel prize up for grabs......for whoever can decipher this sentance from Desmond Tutu:<br /><br />"Even the dumbest of us would say that results would not have been held back... had it not been the fact that Mr Mugabe has not won," said the Nobel Peace Prize winner.<br /><br />OK, I know what he means, but the 3.5 negatives in that sentance are making my brain sore. In reply to Tutu, I would say this:<br /><br />"There's nothing that you've not got that I don't want."Tomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03666655678202852882noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375829029359236137.post-26303176532957943622008-03-26T19:08:00.003+00:002008-03-26T19:21:36.476+00:00Robbery!!!!!! True story!Today I went for a walk at lunchtime. As soon as I started out, I heard a whole cacophony of police sirens in the direction of Old Street tube. Next thing I know, as I walk up a narrow side street just outside of where I work, two guys on a scooter fly past me at about 40mph (much, much too fast). They went onto the pavement and out into a pedestrian precinct. I was sure they were going to knock someone down. These guys looked VERY suspicious, were disguised, and were in a very big hurry!<br /><br />When I reached Old Street I saw at least 5 police cars, and all seemed to be on the lookout for somebody or something.<br /><br />So, being a good citizen, I call the MET police to report what I saw. The person at the police call centre, no doubt in Uzbekistan, could not have been less interested.<br /><br />No doubt the next thing I'll find out is that the robbers shot 5 people in the face, stole 10 million, and Crimewatch are mounting a campaign along the lines of "did you see anything suspicious?"<br /><br />Well, if it comes to that, they can ask all they want. This guy won't be volunteering any information. At the time when it would have been useful, I was fobbed off.<br /><br />As the yanks would say, "a cop couldn't find his butt if it had a bell on it"Tomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03666655678202852882noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375829029359236137.post-89990192301729418722008-03-20T19:31:00.002+00:002008-03-20T19:38:57.163+00:00Holiday weekend in LondonIt's the start of a 4 day bank holiday and I'm on the train, coming back from London. You would think people would be cheerful, but this is what I can see right now...<br /><br />All but one person looks miserable, 2 people look close to tears, 3 people are asleep, one woman looks downright haunted.<br /><br />The guy who doesn't look miserable is the spitting image of a younger Ken Dodd - he has a good comedy face.<br /><br />Maybe life was always meant to be hard, and I have my own theories that there may be good reasons for this. But London! What are you for, if you make people look so miserable?<br /><br />There's got to be a better life than this. The only people you see smiling in London are in advertisements.Tomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03666655678202852882noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375829029359236137.post-16277923302011365452008-03-19T19:12:00.002+00:002008-03-19T19:13:15.768+00:00Quote of... my lifetime"I plan to live forever. So far, so good."<br /><br />Steven WrightTomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03666655678202852882noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375829029359236137.post-87036715544065160062008-03-11T20:26:00.004+00:002008-03-11T22:22:54.064+00:00StupidityI was thinking about my Mum and Dad the other day. My mum passed away last year. They had been married for 53 years. I actually thought this thought: "wow, my dad knew my mum for 55 years. That's even longer than my entire life."<br /><br />Ever had a "duh" moment like that? (think about it)Tomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03666655678202852882noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375829029359236137.post-62599802925636108132008-03-11T20:15:00.002+00:002008-03-11T22:20:52.134+00:00First class!I've taken to travelling first class into London, as befits my status as a gentleman and a scholar. This is not a luxury, it is a necessity. Believe me, the types you get in cattle class make you want to throw yourself under the bloody train.<br /><br />OK, so I'm a complete and utter snob. I admit it. I revel in it. I've fucking earned it mate. I grew up on working class estates, so I know I never want to have anything to do with the proletariat! That's different from being simply uninformed.<br /><br />Anyway, I digress. The point of this snobby story, is the other night two yobs decided it would be a bit of a larf to come and sit in first class and annoy the other passengers i.e. me and one bloke who was asleep. The yobs might have been expecting to see just how wonderful first class is. They may have imagined huge comfy seats, waiters serving champagne, a fag to make us toast and crumpets beside the glowing embers of an open fire.<br /><br />Well no, that's not what first class is about. It's (usually) about not having to put up with ignorant dickheads like those guys, so they weren't likely to experience the joys of first class, nor will they ever. You can go travelling mate, but you can never escape yourself!Tomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03666655678202852882noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375829029359236137.post-661832802182274902008-01-23T16:33:00.000+00:002008-01-23T16:35:06.573+00:00Bible versus ScienceWatch with the sound turned right up. A tremendous performance by Vanessa Mae.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/uephBmkupvQ&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/uephBmkupvQ&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>Tomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03666655678202852882noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375829029359236137.post-58753785099677705342007-11-20T03:36:00.000+00:002007-11-20T03:44:54.571+00:00I rest my case m'lud<br>The <a href="http://www.lc.org/media/9980/attachments/2007_Naughty-Nice.pdf">americans</a> have gone over the edge.<br /><br />Absolutely barking. Woof-woof-aaaaaaaooooooooooo !!!!<br /><br />No wonder stores are terrified of mentioning Christmas - or not mentioning Christmas - or whatever the hell they eventually decide to do. They quite understandibly want to make a buck around Christmas - not worry about whether they are offending or not offending the take-offence brigade.<br /><br />For fuck's sake, get a grip America !!!Tomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03666655678202852882noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375829029359236137.post-87498092071316484142007-10-24T09:53:00.000+00:002008-12-09T23:56:14.949+00:00Happy Birthday Earth<br><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNL37m4Dkc-Pu33nfg1A7FUybF2Bz49NyaYzvZT8nZ4zuWiqpfXhg4an05t64CZI_9J4tH-CQ0QreLUBEq1ZtMueQR6f9f77Rcq4REYK6RIvZib5gSBV7NWoiUTUWx8FTKHTeczckcZNBN/s1600-h/260px-Field_dinos_2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNL37m4Dkc-Pu33nfg1A7FUybF2Bz49NyaYzvZT8nZ4zuWiqpfXhg4an05t64CZI_9J4tH-CQ0QreLUBEq1ZtMueQR6f9f77Rcq4REYK6RIvZib5gSBV7NWoiUTUWx8FTKHTeczckcZNBN/s320/260px-Field_dinos_2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5124840779727856098" /></a><br /><a href="http://wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=57900&6010">The Earth is 6010 years old today</a><br><br />6010 sounds curiously precise. It reminds me of the old joke about the museum security guard who was asked by a visitor how old the dinosaur skeleton was. "That dinosaur is one hundred million and three years old" he replied.<br /><br />"Wow, that's so precise" said the visitor, "how can you be so accurate?" The security guard replied "Well, it was 100 million years old when I started working here, and that was 3 years ago"<br /><br />(boom boom)Tomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03666655678202852882noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375829029359236137.post-29600385183468231532007-10-22T23:01:00.000+00:002007-10-22T23:23:23.706+00:00I saw this coming...<br><a href="http://www.beppegrillo.it/eng/2007/10/the_leviprodi_law_and_the_end.html">The Levi-Prodi law and the end of the Internet</a><br /><br />Italy is proposing a law that will require bloggers to get registered. Not only that:<br /><br /><blockquote>the Levi-Prodi law obliges anyone who has a website or a blog to get a publishing company and to have a journalist who is on the register of professionals as the responsible director</blockquote><br /><br />Three years ago I predicted that in 10 years governments will require everyone to get an 'internet license' in much the same way that we (in the UK at least) have a TV license. Of course the government will arrange it in such a way that it will be 'for our own good'. The excuse they will use is that internet crime happens because it is possible to hide or spoof one's identity.<br /><br />This is how it will work. The government will require you to register your identity, paying (an initially) small fee. They will issue you with an id using some form of public/private encryption key, as currently used by industry for VPNs, HTTPS, etc.<br /><br />The government will also monitor communications, purely for our own security; to combat spammers, terrorists and paedophiles.<br /><br />I think the government should butt out. The internet is ours. It is the best medium for democratisation the world has yet seen. This relies on the fact that it is NOT controlled by any government. We should not trade this for the modicum of 'security' that government control would provide.<br /><br />I'm disappointed but not entirely surprised that Italy is the first European nation to be taking steps towards government control of the internet. They have much authoritarian influence in their culture, from the roman empire, the 'holy' roman empire, 1st and 2nd world war fascist movements, and various forms of oligarchy since then.<br /><br />Which country is next? Mark my words, according to my prediction, we have 7 years left before we all need some form of internet license. I'll take any bets that that will come true.<br /><br>Tomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03666655678202852882noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375829029359236137.post-62662113468807198832007-10-20T19:34:00.000+00:002007-10-20T19:38:03.521+00:00Another great invention from ACMEI can't work out if this is for real.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.boingboing.net/2007/10/20/japanese-women-could.html">Japanese disguise to fool Wile E. Coyote</a>Tomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03666655678202852882noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375829029359236137.post-50918910569865517702007-10-12T20:18:00.000+00:002007-10-12T20:20:05.995+00:00Currently listening to... Menomena<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/5BXr_4g0o9M"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/5BXr_4g0o9M" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>Tomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03666655678202852882noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375829029359236137.post-15693618872884044452007-09-24T20:03:00.000+00:002008-12-09T23:56:15.063+00:00Britain on Election Alert !!!I'm this excited.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc-V9s7-RJG3q3eYlceRSCM8wKk98JDWst3HBoOuMfz7F2Z2C3bMWOzKf6GUA1YC9JKAezGM8qH6H4yxSXhVswq4ia5glvgBw1qo87R0_YlJZjQkTp5_qaNxOEjkB-oKq5j-ZBPn7hgg3Y/s1600-h/giveafuckometer.gif"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5113864642910577106" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc-V9s7-RJG3q3eYlceRSCM8wKk98JDWst3HBoOuMfz7F2Z2C3bMWOzKf6GUA1YC9JKAezGM8qH6H4yxSXhVswq4ia5glvgBw1qo87R0_YlJZjQkTp5_qaNxOEjkB-oKq5j-ZBPn7hgg3Y/s400/giveafuckometer.gif" border="0" /></a>Tomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03666655678202852882noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375829029359236137.post-30692955172861218642007-09-13T06:49:00.000+00:002007-09-13T06:50:53.845+00:00ELRON - The smartest guy in the roomFor what it's worth, I consider L Ron Hubbard to be one of the greatest social experimenters and genius's ('scuse spelling) of the 20th century.<br /><br />He proved beyond a doubt that human beings are prepared to believe the most outrageous tosh, even after leaving lots and lots of clues that it was nonsense.<br /><br />I think old Lafyette was having a massive laugh to himself about the whole thing and probably had trouble believing his experiment had been so successful.<br /><br />We should praise the guy for uncovering the fact that there is no limit to human credulity and for being the all-time King of Irony!Tomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03666655678202852882noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375829029359236137.post-44265021326236592082007-09-11T18:49:00.000+00:002007-09-11T20:47:36.657+00:00FAQsI've read lots of FAQs, but I've never yet seen a question I would actually ask.<br /><br />I think FAQ should be renamed to IRAQ - Irrelevant Rarely Asked Questions.Tomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03666655678202852882noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375829029359236137.post-66155814844451074072007-09-11T14:25:00.000+00:002007-09-11T18:49:11.564+00:00Martin Amis - spot the logical fallacyI like Martin Amis and his novels... except for Yellow Dog; that was so badly written as to be incomprehensible.<br /><br />Today's cover of the Times 2 has this Amis quote:<br /><br /><blockquote>Given the choice between George Bush and Osama Bin Laden, the liberal relativist is obliged to plump for the Saudi, becoming an appeaser of an armed doctrine that is racist, misogynist, homophobic, totalitarian, inquisitional, imperialist and genocidal.</blockquote><br /><br />He seems to be suggesting that if I am forced to choose between two things that I find abhorrent, then that implies that I support the one I have chosen.<br /><br />He may be an interesting author, but he wouldn't get out of the starting blocks as a philosopher or logician.<br /><br />The whole proposition is silly. It's hypothetical for a start, and if someone did ask me to choose, I would choose neither.Tomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03666655678202852882noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375829029359236137.post-90595222624373560062007-08-16T23:24:00.000+00:002007-09-11T21:41:36.453+00:00ElvisElvis died 30 years ago today.<br /><br />Elvis will never leave the buildingTomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03666655678202852882noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375829029359236137.post-21810818557993364592007-05-13T21:14:00.000+00:002007-05-13T21:15:51.244+00:00Electrifying day jobSome people are power mad.<br /><br /><object width='448' height='336'><param name='movie' value='http://www.glumbert.com/embed/highpower'></param><param name='wmode' value='transparent'></param><embed src='http://www.glumbert.com/embed/highpower' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' wmode='transparent' width='448' height='336'></embed></object><div><a href='http://www.glumbert.com/media/highpower'>glumbert.com - High Power Job</a></div>Tomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03666655678202852882noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375829029359236137.post-53185641407276921362007-04-22T09:31:00.000+00:002007-04-22T09:56:43.588+00:00Nazi sillinessBryan Ferry has brought trouble on himself by commenting on the presentation skills of the Nazis.<br /><br /><blockquote>"My God, the Nazis knew how to put themselves in the limelight and present themselves," he gushed to the German magazine Welt am Sonntag. "I'm talking about Leni Riefenstahl's movies and Albert Speer's buildings and the mass parades and the flags - just amazing. Really beautiful."</blockquote><br /><br />Predictable that the press jumped all over him, with various people calling for an end to the deal he has with M&S to promote their 'Signature' range of clothes.<br /><br />Why?<br /><br />As far as I know, he didn't praise the Nazi's actions or their philiosophy. He simply said that they were good at presenting themselves. I totally agree with him. They had superb iconography - their swastika (borrowed from hindu and other cultures), the death's head logo of the SS, the Nuremburg rallies, their marching music, Hitler's 'Eagle's Nest' villa in the mountains, all great examples of powerful and enduring icons, desired by military and art collectors worldwide.<br /><br />That doesn't mean that Bryan Ferry or I are political supporters of the Nazis, however it seems that if you even mention the word Nazi (apart from unconditionally and absolutely condemning them) then you are accused of being one yourself, that you must be an anti-semite. No, it doesn't mean that at all. All intelligent people, and I presumptiously include myself in that, unhesitatingly acknowledge that their utilitarian philosophy was odious and their actions criminal.<br /><br />However, we must acknowledge the appeal they had for the German people, if only so that we can recognise current and future politicians using the same tactics to appeal to their peoples.<br /><br />They did have some appeal, otherwise the vast majority of Germans wouldn't have supported them, and I believe presentation had at least something to do with it. I'm also a fan of intellectual honesty. If their uniforms, architecture, flags, rallies, etc, were artistically done, then it must be ok to admit that.<br /><br />Having said that, Bryan Ferry has been in the public eye for a couple of generations now, and he should know how the press operate. I think he has been silly, but not necessarily evil.<br /><br />(By the way, just in case you have a sneaking suspicion that I have Nazi sympathies, I must let you know that I am a veteran of the ANL (Anti-Nazi League) marches in the late 70s/early 80s. One of my small claims to fame is that I have personally kicked Martin Webster (the ex-leader of the National Front) at a march-turned-disturbance in Leeds. Beat that!)Tomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03666655678202852882noreply@blogger.com0